Journey to Tomorrow
by Sailor Panda
Summary: Freedom. Choices. Journeys. One Souma makes a decision that has the potential to change everything for better or worse.
1. Journey

AN: This is just a quick little thing I was toying with as I take a breather from my other fics. I wonder how many people will guess correctly about who the guy is? Anyway, I'll either leave it as it is or add one more follow up chapter, but that's it. Got other things that need to be done, you know?  
  
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His lean figure moved purposely through his wooded surroundings as he trod upon familiar ground. He moved steadily, picking his way carefully over the beaten earth on a worn path that he had traversed many times before leading to a destination that was not new to him.  
  
Not new and yet, at the same time, very new to his nearly wondering eyes.  
  
After all, this was the first time he'd come here on his own.  
  
But it was bittersweet knowledge that tainted this experience of his for he knew full well the price of it, gotten through the sacrifice of someone else. Great rewards, after all, seldom came without a price. And the price paid was one that the rest of the Jyunnishi were faced with as well so he knew that he wasn't alone in feeling the weight of the sacrifice that had been made. It was one that perhaps they all felt some degree of regret and guilt for, but he doubted any of them would wish the results to be reversed, not after what they had gained from it, whether they deserved it or not.  
  
Freedom.  
  
It was something, he was sure, which was aspired to by all the Jyunnishi that he bore relation to. Even though they may not have had enough awareness of the aspiration to put a name to the idea.  
  
Why think about it, after all, when it was something not likely to ever be obtained?  
  
Certainly, even he had thought of it wistfully, like a dream that would always be there but never achieved. They were all the same, never thinking it would ever be granted, resigning himself and all of his tomorrows to the dark prison his life had seemed as he lived while waiting on the whim of the one who wielded his control over the Jyunnishi with a malevolent and unpredictable fist.  
  
Nevertheless, they had received the gift of it, finally. Against all hope, the Jyunnishi that were forever cursed were released from the yoke of the one who lorded over them – especially him whom had been regarded with by a particular dark obsession. Though they were still cursed, that concession made it all so much easier to bear without the fear and uncertainty that loomed over their heads, ready to strike at any odd moment depending on the whim of the head of the family from which they all lived in fear.  
  
Akito.  
  
Even now, he still couldn't believe it.  
  
Many times he felt the urge to look over his shoulder, expecting at any moment for the dark lord to arise out of nowhere, intent on breaking his promise and reeling the Jyunnishi back into his clutches. He realized it was a bit silly since Akito, if he kept to his word, had sworn to leave the Jyunnishi alone as long as his one wish was granted. Bound by his promise, the Jyunnishi were free to go about their lives as they wanted without fear of Akito's interference.  
  
Of course, with what he was planning to do, that might change everything.  
  
He hadn't told anyone he was coming. He had a feeling someone would try to stop him if there was any hint of doubt that his actions might have a possibility of reversing the change their lives had undergone. And he didn't want anyone dictating to him about what to do.  
  
After all, he'd already been freed of one yoke. And he had no desire to be placed under another.  
  
And also, he didn't think it right the way everyone else had stood back and allowed what had happened to occur. They had protested, yes, but not enough, not nearly enough. The sacrifice had still been made and they had let it, their desire for more apparently stronger than any other sort of affection it was that they had for her.  
  
Tohru.  
  
Though perhaps he wasn't all that different from the rest of them. After all, he had done nothing to stop it, either, when Akito's pronouncement had been made and the trade contracted.  
  
Her for them.  
  
In the end, he had stood by as well when, despite the pleadings and protestations from everyone, she had still been sacrificed. Even now, recalling that moment, he felt an ache in his chest when he remembered how she had resigned herself to Akito's ultimatum with a smile meant to comfort them, to show them she was willing and had no qualms about her choice.  
  
But it wasn't just her choice.  
  
She shouldn't have been the one to have the brunt of sacrifice placed upon her.  
  
He wished he'd thought more of that sooner. However, it was an idea that had crystallized within him only after it had been too late and she had been taken away by Akito's demand. It had never left him alone since, giving him many regrets as his mind was often plagued with remorseful feelings that were new to him.  
  
Now, perhaps he had been given a chance to change things – at least a little.  
  
As trees faded away and the site of his destination came into view, fear, excitement, and hope as well as a fresh wave of resolve surged through him, causing him to quicken his pace.  
  
Soon. It would be soon.  
  
He wasn't foolish enough to think that there would be no repercussions. However, it seemed he'd lived most of his life with some sort of fear or darkness hanging over him as his life had appeared to be already predetermined by Akito's whim. At least this way, it would be because of the results of his own choosing and not due to the whim of someone else.  
  
Only a few steps more and he would be there.  
  
He was set on this path he had chosen – a path he'd selected for himself with no one else's guidance. For better or worse, he would stick to his decision for he had not journeyed this far only to turn back now. No matter how the others might castigate him for it when they discovered what he'd done or even if it revoked what had been gained with the sacrifice, he would not regret it. He told himself this firmly and believed it.  
  
This was it.  
  
He was here.  
  
Standing at the destination his journey had brought him to, he drew in deep breath, unaccountably nervous as he prepared to face the one he and the other Jyunnishi owed so much to, the one who had sacrificed herself to win their freedom which now allowed them to choose how they would live tomorrow and the tomorrows after that, the one he'd come here to express his gratitude to because she was owed at least that. Though he wasn't exactly sure of how he would say it, he wished to lay his appreciation before her because he didn't think she had any idea the extent of what it was that she had done for them, for him, and he wanted her to know, despite whatever may come from it afterwards.  
  
Steeling himself, he rung the doorbell and waited, listening intently as footsteps sounded, closer and closer until they stopped and the door swung open to reveal a surprised figure whose feminine features stared back in shock.  
  
"Hello, Honda-san." He smiled faintly despite his nervousness. "I came for a visit."  
  
Tohru just gasped. "Kureno-san?" 


	2. Freedom

AN: Apologies to those who got to the first chapter and went 'Who the heck is Kureno?' I know there had to be some since I realize that not everyone who has seen the Fruits Basket anime knows about the manga. It's spoiler-ish, I know, and I had thought about putting in some sort of warning in the beginning somewhere but then that would have given away the surprise of who it was. Yes, I'm evil for liking those surprises. So sue me.  
  
Anyway, this is turning out to be a bit longer than I thought it would. I was never intending an actual Kureno/Tohru pairing, only a tiny conversation between them that was buzzing in my brain in a really annoying way. Except the tiny conversation keeps getting longer since it was supposed to be all done with this second chapter but, well, it's becoming too long so the third and last one will be forthcoming later.  
  
Oh, yeah. One more thing. Not much is known about Kureno except that he basically lives completely by doing Akito's bidding so my characterization of him may turn out to be completely wrong if Takuya-sensei ever decides to reveal more about him in the manga. All I can say is that, to me, he's a sad figure who's lost his hope, which is understandable since he exists like he's Akito's living doll. Poor guy. The more I think about him, the more I want to cuddle him and make him happy, even if he is a two- dimensional character. What can I say? Furuba characters are just too huggable – so to speak. =D  
  
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"I apologize for dropping by unannounced," Kureno apologized.  
  
"Oh, no!" she exclaimed quickly. "It's a nice surprise. Please, come in." She moved out of the doorway so he could enter, peering at him curiously. "You came alone?"  
  
"Yes."  
  
"I see."  
  
He didn't miss the brief flash of disappointment that flashed across her face and then was gone. It was replaced by a bright, cheerful smile that was warm and honest and generously welcoming.  
  
It made him feel regret that he wasn't one of the others whose company she would no doubt have welcomed more in contrast to his quiet and colorless presence. After all, he could count on one hand the number of times that they'd been in each other's company – and always in the presence of Akito. That, most certainly, had limited whatever words they might have spoken to each other under different circumstances. Compared to how she had lived, laughed, and associated under the same roof for years with some of the others, the two of them were virtually strangers so why should she be happy have him appear on her doorstep completely out of the blue?  
  
"Please have a seat," she told him when they were in the living area. "You must be tired after coming all this way."  
  
"No, not really."  
  
"Nevertheless," she said firmly, "please wait while I go get some refreshments. You are a guest, after all, and it would be rude not to. It won't take long. Luckily, I just made a fresh pot of tea before you came."  
  
He watched, somewhat bemused, as she exited like a tiny, cheerful whirlwind. She seemed completely at ease, flitting away like a beautiful bright butterfly.  
  
Was she always so happy?  
  
He hadn't thought she would be but, really, what did he know of her?  
  
In actuality, he hadn't thought much of anything beyond his decision to come here and he was beginning to realize he should have spent more time thinking of all that this trip would entail – including what she'd really be like without the presence of Akito shadowing them. Aside from his own brief meetings with her, what little he knew of her had been from the mouth of Akito when he sometimes spoke of her, and his take on what she was like was hardly to be trusted. And he supposed the few times that he'd seen her couldn't be very telling since they had all been with Akito present.  
  
And Akito tended to have a dampening affect on people's true personalities.  
  
He, of all people, knew that.  
  
"Sorry to keep you waiting!" was the cheerful cry as Tohru came bustling back into the room bearing a tray of tea and cookies. She made quick work of serving first him, then herself before kneeling, taking her own seat at the low table as she gave him a welcoming expression. "Please, help yourself to as much as you like."  
  
"Thank you," he said politely as he bit into a cookie. As the crunchy sweetness flowed over his tongue, he stared at her in surprise. "Did you make these yourself?"  
  
"Yes." She smiled. "I love to cook but I never really did much with cookies. Lately, though, I've been experimenting." She laughed a little. "And the children love to help me taste test them, which makes it more fun."  
  
"Children," he repeated blankly.  
  
Since when did she have kids? No one had mentioned anything like that to him before.  
  
"Yes, in town," she replied. "Sometimes I bring cookies to share with them when I go in."  
  
"Ah." That made more sense. He had vague recollections of the small town located a few miles away from the Souma house. "Do you go there often?"  
  
"Of course. I'd be fired if I didn't."  
  
"Fired?" He was experiencing that odd disorientation again.  
  
"From my job."  
  
"Job?"  
  
"Yes, I work at a bakery there." She smiled. "You just happened to come on my day off."  
  
"Bakery?" He was starting to feel like a parrot. He shook himself out of it and regarded her curiously. "Why are you working? It's not necessary, after all. I heard that you'd be provided with everything."  
  
"I was. But I can't just sit around and do nothing. And since there's only so much gardening and house cleaning I can do here, I needed something else."  
  
"You do that yourself?" Kureno was surprised. "I thought there were servants to do those tasks."  
  
"It was something I was offered, but I turned it down. I don't like to be waited on, especially when I'm the only one here."  
  
"I see."  
  
He fell silent, thinking of himself and how different he was. Always, he was being the one served. He had never decided not to be, but then he had never decided much of anything in his life.  
  
It was all so very different from her.  
  
Though they both had the experience of being placed in a type of prison constructed by Akito, she had chosen hers willingly while he had merely accepted whatever was put before him, unquestioning and passive, following where he was led. He, who in some small part of himself had somehow started to believe that they were kindred spirits, was beginning to realize how far apart they were and that he was much, much less.  
  
What was he doing here?  
  
"Kureno-san?"  
  
He came back to himself to find her gazing at him with concern. That wasn't what he wanted. He'd had a notion of coming here to perhaps do something worthwhile for a change and ease the burden placed on her shoulders, which she had no right taking up in the first place. But instead of relieving her of anything, he was the one becoming the burden, only worrying her and no doubt making her hardship worse.  
  
He really couldn't do anything right, could he?  
  
"I'm sorry," he said, shaking his head. "I should go."  
  
"What?" She looked surprised. "So soon?"  
  
"It was a mistake to come here." He shook his head regretfully as he stood, bowing in apology. "I'm truly sorry to have bothered you and taken up your time." He turned away. "I'll leave. Please, stay seated. I can show myself out."  
  
"Wait!"  
  
She reached out towards the retreating figure, one hand trying to grasp at his arm while she rose from her seat in the same motion, making an attempt to get him to stay. Unfortunately, she accidentally bumped into the low table as she rose which threw her off balance and she began to fall, reaching hand turning into flailing arms as she tried to grab on to something that would stop her descent.  
  
But the only thing she came into contact with was Kureno.  
  
POOF!  
  
Time stood frozen for a moment as two figures stared at each other in the dissipating smoke with equal amounts of shocked disbelief. Then, suddenly the larger one began a flurry of movement, bowing rapidly in apology to the smaller form in comical haste.  
  
"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry!" Tohru cried. "I didn't mean to! I'm so sorry!"  
  
"It's alright," the rooster sighed, ruffling his brilliantly colored feathers. "There's no harm done."  
  
"Even so - I'm still sorry! I was only trying to get you to stay a little longer. I never meant for" she gestured at him helplessly, "this to happen."  
  
"I know."  
  
"I'm sorry," Tohru said again, anxiously. "Is there anything that I can-"  
  
POOF!  
  
With a small shriek, she whirled away as, in a cloud of colored smoke, the small form instantly became larger – and completely nude. He was quick to take the opportunity to redress as she kept her back turned to him, head cast down in what was, no doubt, a great deal of embarrassment. It was an emotion he understood well since he was experiencing a large dose of it himself.  
  
It had been a long time since he'd been caught nude in a female's presence.  
  
"I'm sorry," he apologized when he'd finished dressing.  
  
He felt discomfited when she turned around with cheeks flushed with pink. It had also been a long time since he'd been in the presence of a blushing woman. It unsettled him greatly as he wondered with no small amount of discomfort if there was some sort of special procedure one should follow in such circumstances. He hadn't been in such a situation in so very long, he wasn't sure what to do. He felt awkward, out of place, and just very, very lost, wishing there was some sign that would tell him how to proceed.  
  
There should be a handbook for these sorts of things.  
  
"-san? Kureno-san?"  
  
He jerked, startled upon realizing that he'd been staring vacantly into space, lost in his vague thoughts, while she'd been calling his name for some length of time, if her worried expression was any indication. He shook his daze off, telling himself to stay more focused.  
  
"I'm sorry," he said again. "I was just-" he hesitated, not sure how to put it.  
  
But Tohru just smiled at him understandingly. "I do that too sometimes."  
  
"You do?" He stared back at her in surprise.  
  
"Yes." Her expression held embarrassment. "Sometimes my mind just wanders and I get caught up in other thoughts. There I times when I even talk aloud to myself." She laughed a little. "It makes people nervous sometimes."  
  
"It does," Kureno agreed softly.  
  
He regarded her curiously. From what she said, perhaps they had more similarities than he had previously thought. It was a surprising revelation somehow thought he didn't know why it should be since he didn't know her that well.  
  
But she was definitely unusual.  
  
He'd heard tales of her acceptance of the Jyunnishi members but he hadn't really understood what it meant until now, never having seen her interact with any of them when they were in their transformed state. There was a part of him that expected more of a reaction than he was getting, some sort of recrimination or disgust perhaps but she showed none of that.  
  
She was treating him normally.  
  
She was speaking to him as an equal, as she had when he had first appeared and before his transformation. Aside from apologizing for triggering the curse, she made no other mention of it, as if she'd completely forgotten that mere moments before the room had been graced with the unusual presence of a rooster and then, after that, a nude male who had to scramble to redress himself in the clothes that had scattered themselves around the area.  
  
So this, he thought, was why the other Jyunnishi had gravitated towards her.  
  
But then why had they given her up?  
  
He couldn't understand it.  
  
He sank down slowly until he was kneeling on the floor, facing her as confusion washed over his mind, coloring him with its myriad thoughts that overtook him in an unexpected rush. So many various thoughts were bombarding him all of a sudden; he wasn't sure how to sort them all out to ease the painful pressure that seemed to be growing within his head, wanting some way out, some means of relief.  
  
"Just speak whatever's on your mind," Tohru told him softly.  
  
The softness of her voice tugged at him, drawing his gaze to meet hers that looked back with an understanding and compassion that he found unfathomable. Such openness and kindheartedness that she offered unquestioningly to him, to someone she hardly knew, wasn't something he was used to being on the receiving end of. It was comforting, soothing, inviting, relaxing.  
  
It was also frightening.  
  
"Don't push yourself," she said. "You can speak freely."  
  
His smile was half-hearted. "How can I talk about it when I'm not even sure what it is on my mind that wants to be spoken?"  
  
"Just say whatever it is that wants to come out. It doesn't matter if it makes any sense."  
  
"How do you know?" he asked quietly.  
  
"Because I do."  
  
Her expression as she gazed at him grew distant, a trifle sad, speaking of remembrances that hinted at painful experiences gone through and dealt with, however much they'd hurt. Witnessing it, he felt humbled, ashamed somehow in a way that he didn't quite understand but accepted nonetheless. And because of it, because of her, a layer of calmness settled upon his mind, quieting his previously ricocheting thoughts. He drew in a deep cleansing breath, released in a slow exhale.  
  
And he began to speak. 


	3. Choice

AN: It's been a long time in coming but the final installment is finally here. About time too, huh? But after sitting on this for so long, it was hard to come back to. Since I really wanted to finish up something – I've got too many unfinished fics as it is – I finally got moving to complete this.  
  
I'm just glad it's over! Whew! =D  
  
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"For a long, long time, I've only done what others have told me to do."  
  
It was the first thing that came out of his mouth, the words seemingly coaxed out with a power of their own beneath her accepting gaze that appeared forgiving, though what it was that needed to be forgiven was not yet known. A part of him was surprised that he was opening up this way to someone so new to him but the other part didn't care about the niceties and continued to speak.  
  
"Sounds pitiful, does it not? I haven't done much in the way of major decision-making on my own. If there was a time that I had, I don't remember it clearly."  
  
Tohru said nothing, just sat and listened.  
  
"Over the past decade especially, Akito was the most important thing in my life because I knew I had to do what he said and I did. I was always at his side, always doing whatever he commanded me to. Just like a puppet. It was easy in way because I never had to think for myself and it made him happy. And that's what always seemed to be important. I've seen what he can do to those he's not happy with so I always did whatever would satisfy him and keep him from becoming angry and turning his desire to hurt someone on me. It was cowardly, I knew that, but I kept doing it."  
  
"You were trying to protect yourself," Tohru interjected quietly. "There's no shame in that."  
  
His lips took on a sad curve. "It's nice that you think that. And knowing what Akito is like, maybe it's true. But it doesn't feel that way. I was always on the sidelines, always watching, even when others were being hurt. I didn't do anything but listen to Akito. It was all I knew. I resigned myself long ago to obeying the clan head for the rest of my life, however long it may last."  
  
"But," Tohru interrupted, "that's what you had to do anyway, isn't it? The curse ties all of you to Akito-san like that so you didn't have any other choice. You shouldn't feel bad about something you have no control over."  
  
"That's one way of looking at it." His expression showed frustration. "But there should have been another way, there just should have been." You shouldn't have had to get involved in something that was up to us to deal with or fail in trying to. What you did-"  
  
"Was my decision," she interrupted calmly. "So if that's what's bothering you, don't worry about it, please. I don't regret the choice that I made."  
  
"Maybe not. But, and excuse me for putting it so bluntly, you're an outsider. It shouldn't have been a choice you had to make – not for us." He shook his head. "What was he thinking?"  
  
But the answer came to him almost as soon as he asked the question.  
  
From his rantings about her, Kureno had gathered that Akito hated her, perhaps feared her, and wanted her gone, wanted her influence away from the Jyunnishi that he saw being stolen away from him by her. That was at the heart of his actions though his methods of dealing with it weren't quite clear, for puzzling out the twisted workings of Akito's mind was a difficult thing.  
  
And now, Akito had what he wanted – her situated far away and banned from returning to her hometown and the Jyunnishi who remained there because, without her, they felt they didn't have anywhere else to go. And with no motivation, lost perhaps in guilt that they failed to do what they should have, driving them to any one direction, they stayed where they were.  
  
So, despite the freedom granted to them by Akito and one girl's sacrifice, the Jyunnishi still remained by their god's side, giving him his victory and cruel satisfaction over those that he viewed as being against him.  
  
If there were any winners around, it wasn't the Jyunnishi.  
  
"Kureno-san?"  
  
He glanced at her to find her gazing at him with that earnest expression of hers touched with concern. It was compassionate, that liquid gaze, and having had little experience with it in his past, he could only remain staring back at her, wondering what to expect next, silent and feeling slightly nervous as she spoke.  
  
"I know you probably think badly of Akito-san," she commented softly. "I know that most of the others do, too. But I don't really thing he's as evil as everyone believes."  
  
Kureno stared back at her in surprise. "You really believe that?"  
  
"Yes, I do."  
  
"How?" He shook his head disbelievingly. "How can you think like that? About him?"  
  
"Well, I suppose I could be wrong. I haven't been around him as much as everyone else has, after all. But that's how I feel even if everyone else thinks differently. Now, I'm not saying that everything he's done in the past has been right or good but I don't think he's completely bad either."  
  
Kureno looked lost. "If he's not bad, then what is he?"  
  
She fell silent a moment, thinking. Finally she said, "A lot of things. It might be hard to believe but I feel that Akito-san may be hurting just as much as everyone else."  
  
"What makes you so sure?"  
  
"Well, I'm not really that sure. Like I said, I might be wrong. My judgment isn't always the best. Still, that's the feeling I get. After all, I have the impression that he has the potential to be much worse than he is now – he's not as bad as he could be. To tell you the truth, I'm actually a little grateful to him."  
  
Kureno's eyes widened. "Why?"  
  
"I know he doesn't like me very much." She smiled a little uncomfortably. "I'm sure you're aware of that."  
  
An apologetic expression crossed his face.  
  
Tohru shrugged. "Anyway, he's probably wanted me gone for a long while. But I'm sure he knew about my goal to at least finish high school since I've talked to Shigure-san many times concerning that and I know he seems the closest to Akito-san. But Akito-san waited until I had finally graduated before he gave me the choice of whether to go or stay. If he wanted me gone so badly, disliked me so much, he could have forced the issue and had me leave sooner, which might have made me unable to graduate like I wanted to. But he didn't. He waited."  
  
"Honda-san, it's nice of you to think that was altruistic, but I don't believe that that really casts him in a better light."  
  
"I'm not trying to cast him in a better light."  
  
"Then what are you trying to say?"  
  
"Nothing really." She gave him a gentle look. "Perhaps you think I'm trying to justify his actions, but I'm not. I know that no matter what I say about him, you're entitled to your own opinions that may differ greatly from mine. I've had this conversation with some of the others and I realize that their opinions about Akito-san didn't seem to change much after I spoke mine so I'm not expecting agreement with what I say or anything else. I'm only sharing my perspective, however wrong or right it may be. I just want to show that he may not be as completely bad as people think he is. That's all." Suddenly, she appeared a little uncomfortable, indecisive. "To tell the truth, I feel kind of sorry for him."  
  
He couldn't help his utter surprise. "Eh?"  
  
"Kureno-san," fingers fidgeted nervously, "you've been by Akito-san's side quite a lot, haven't you?"  
  
He nodded, wondering where she was going with this line of questioning.  
  
"Haven't you ever sometimes thought that you," she hesitated, "pitied him?"  
  
He stopped the automatic 'no' that sprang to his lips; her question had been put forth earnestly and deserved to have it given his serious consideration. He had, after all, intruded here upon her unexpectedly and the least he could do was to attend himself to her words with thoughts as earnest as she was.  
  
Casting his mind back, he sifted through his memories. Most of them centered around the worse moments, his rageful rampages, his punishment of others, his mercurial shifts in mood, his lost of control and violent outbursts that were sporadic but came with more frequency as time passed and his hatred of them continued to grow as well as his...  
  
Desperation  
  
He blinked at the thought, startled.  
  
"You thought of something, didn't you?" came Tohru's gentle voice.  
  
He gave her an uncertain look. "But...do you really think that he does what he does because...?"  
  
"Akito-san's fighting, so I believe." Her gaze grew distant, contemplative. "But he may not realize what it is that he's fighting." She glanced back at him. "He's cursed too, isn't he? To bear your curses, to live a shorter life than you all?"  
  
He nodded slowly. "Yes."  
  
"It's not very fair," she said softly. "And time is not something he can control. His time is getting shorter, but it's not an enemy that he can order or touch or fight. But the rest of you, you who may have partial responsibility in tying him to his fate...you can be ordered and touched and fought against."  
  
"He blames us?" His voice was equally soft.  
  
"Perhaps, deep inside, he does. The anger he feels, the helplessness at his fate, the desperation...they may not be something he's acknowledged to himself. But they may be there, hidden in his heart, building and boiling until he finds himself lashing out without logical reason." A sad smile curled her lips. "He's lost."  
  
"That may be so." He shook his head. "But that doesn't excuse him from what he's done."  
  
"I never said it did." She tilted her head. "In this world, there are some people we can't help, not if they don't want it. We can only watch as they make mistakes and...feel for them."  
  
"If he knew, he would never thank you for you sentiments."  
  
"I know." She gave him a tiny smile. "But they're my sentiments and Akito- san can't control them. I'll feel what I want to feel."  
  
He regarded her quietly, seeing innocence and compassion and also...a deep strength. It made him envious, seeing this person with such certainty about who she was and what she believed and felt.  
  
"I wish I were more like you."  
  
She blinked. "Eh?"  
  
"You're so sure about yourself and where you go, what you do. You see deeper than others do, think of what other's do not, and you remain true to the whispers of your heart. You take the bad and make it good, turn it into something better. You're so..." he searched for the word, "complete."  
  
Mouth parted, she stared at him for one silent moment.  
  
And then she began to laugh.  
  
Startled, he regarded her in surprise. "What did I say?"  
  
Still chuckling, she waved her hand in a dismissive gesture. "You have the wrong idea about me." Her expression was all good humor. "I'm human, I make mistakes, I stumble. And I'm far from being 'complete' because there are still things about myself that I'm unsure of, still need to learn, still need to deal with. But one day," she sighed wistfully, "one day I hope to reach that point."  
  
"I think you're almost there."  
  
"Maybe," she said with a smile. "And someday, I'm sure you'll get there as well."  
  
"I don't know how. I wouldn't even know where to begin to start."  
  
"Well..." she trailed off, thoughtfully. "It begins with choices. From them we learn, make mistakes, and we grow. And...you've already started."  
  
"What do you mean?"  
  
"You made the choice to come here, didn't you?" Her expression grew more serious. "Akito-san's not going to like it if he finds out."  
  
"No, he won't," he said quietly. "But he doesn't know where I went. And you won't tell him, will you?"  
  
She shook her head. "I don't think he'd want to hear from me."  
  
"No," he said, closing his eyes, reflecting.  
  
This journey...had not been he was expecting, neither was she. She was both more, and less than his ideas of her had been. Their conversation had been enlightening to him on different levels, giving him thoughts of himself and others that he might otherwise have never contemplated. And though she spoke of what an uncertain person she was, she was still more formed than many other he knew.  
  
Including himself.  
  
He wondered what it would be like to be as strong in heart as she was, to be able to make the choices she had without regrets. What would it take to get to that point she was at? What else could he learn from her?  
  
He wanted to know.  
  
"Kureno-san?" her voice drew his attention. She was gazing back at him with a worried expression. "It's getting late."  
  
He glanced towards a window, surprised to see the darkness that lay outside. He hadn't realized their conversation had lasted as long as it had. If he rushed, he just might be able to make it back to the station in time to catch the last train home.  
  
"If you like," Tohru offered hesitantly, "there are plenty of extra rooms in the house. You can take one, if you want."  
  
"I won't be imposing?"  
  
"Oh, no." She smiled warmly. "I'd be glad for the company. But it's your choice."  
  
He gazed at her, the one who was responsible for setting him on this path though she may not be aware of the full extent of her influence. This, he thought, was another turning point in his life. He could decide to stay and remain with the one that he felt offered so much more to learn, or he could return to the relative safety of the leashed freedom held by a family that had always held such control over his life.  
  
It was his decision, one he had to make on his own.  
  
"Kureno-san?" Tohru inquired softly. "What will it be?"  
  
As he gazed at her, surety, an unfamiliar emotion that he hoped would one day be familiar, overtook him. He smiled at her.  
  
And he made his choice.  
  
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owari 


End file.
